On Right Relationship


When the Wisdom Wheel would be most helpful, I often forget to use it. I’m specifically thinking about when my husband and I have our spats. Sometimes Malcolm will even chide me, “Don’t you teach others about Right Relationship?”

In my defense, I am a student of Right Relationship. We all are. As students of the Wisdom Wheel, we will never “master” Balance or Love or Great Mystery, but we’ve made conscious Choices to learn more about wisdom and the Universal Laws. Although I am the developer of the Wisdom Wheel, the mere fact that my husband reminds me to use it shows that I am not a master. There is no hierarchy. We can all make a Commitment to be more mindful at any level, regardless of how many years we’ve been practicing.

I made a Commitment to myself years ago: to focus on what I am FOR rather than what I am against. What do I want to support? What do you want to support? I would rather put my time and energy toward what I am for, rather than use my precious resources to attack. There is already too much of that in the world.

Even in the midst of our heated tiffs, I am not against my husband. We are both FOR Right Relationship. As a couple, we learn and teach each other more about Right Relationship everyday.

The Wisdom Wheel is an odd marriage counselor but it has mediated many conflicts. In my marriage, it brings issues to the surface so we can address them. Because my husband and I share the Laws as a common language, we can articulate our values, even when they differ. The stabilizing presence of the stones reminds us daily what our shared values are.

Our behavior springs from of our most deeply held beliefs, even if we can’t verbalize them. Imagine yourself or others around you as icebergs. We can see each other’s behaviors and actions, but not the motivations or beliefs below the water line. In order to understand each other, we must dive down to the values and beliefs and discuss them. That’s what the Wisdom Wheel is FOR.

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