Each time we return from the Native world, of fasting and ceremony on the reserve in Canada , we go through a predictable decompression phase. Like divers coming up from the depths of the sea, we need time to readjust to the absence of the sacred (also the title of Jeffery Mander’s book). This modern world existence feels flat and pale by comparison, as if it is too thin to sustain the gravity of a deeper meanings or greater purposes.

I used to dread this disorienting pause inbetween the worlds, but there’s something enjoyable about being suspended. The random replay of images and impressions can be watched on the screen of memory without any deliberate decisions or control since the judging portion of my brain has yet to be fully re-engaged. 

A week ago I was standing with the others beside a grove of poplar and aspen trees in my green dress, during the ceremonial cutting of the Tree. An eagle circled overhead. He’d made his presence known ever since the ropes had been attached the day before in preparation for taking the Tree down gently. He returned to the grounds the following day, when the leaders took their piercings. 

Remarkable events take place at the Sun Dance. Clouds shaped like eagles, buffalo and reproductions of the Arbor form and dissolve. We had such unusual weather too this year. That hailstorm was part of a series of tornados that touched down in towns on either side of the reserve. Miraculously, no one was injured. If William hadn't decided for us to smoke the leaders pipes in our Sweat Lodges, we would have been dancing in the hail. Once a round of dancing has begun, we would’ve been obliged to complete it.

Like those swirling winds, the Sun Dance itself creates an undeniable centrifugal force. There are physical reasons; one hundred pairs of feet circling the Tree inside the Arbor, and there are spiritual reasons; all those prayers in sustained focus for four days. This attracts everything from eagles to rain clouds, people and healing energies. It also repels negativity and some individuals bounce off its protective covering.

Our young friend, the medical student from Brown University , joined us for the Sun Dance, rather on the spur of the moment, without the prior preparation except one fast. Hard to tell yet how it will sit with him, as he doesn’t have a Pipe of his own yet to ground him, nor does he have quiet time for processing during his internship. 

The Sun Dance can’t save everyone. By nine o’clock on the evening the ceremony ended we heard the news about a gay man with HIV/AIDs on the reserve, who had hung himself. One of the warrior dancers, who completed all four days, has lung cancer he hopes will heal from doing this. Many other dancers are struggling with conditions ranging from hypertension, diabetes and heart trouble. We all dancie for friends and relatives who aren’t well enough to do this ceremony.   

While we were in Canada , some subscribers to this 1,000 day Journey received a few empty email pages (due to technical difficulties). Some threatened to unsubscribe because of it. Meanwhile I was dancing without food or water on those days, but I managed to keep my Faith and patience. What if I threatened to 'unsubscribe' from this Journey?